A Safe Distance?

I was watching the other day one of my favorite movies...."the divine secrets of the Yaya Sisterhood". Such a fun movie for us ladies to see. I crack up at this movie because I love the mother and all her friends. These ladies are so messed up its hilarious to some degree and then its a little sad...

It's interesting the tumultuous relationship that mother and daughter have in this film. Bottom line is that if your relationship with your mother was not good be sure that this will affect all of your relatiohships going forward...

If you see young girls that are always one day up and then the next day down and its an ongoing wave of emotions, I wonder what they've seen in their mother that causes this emotional rollercoaster...hmmmm something for us all to think about?

I look at these women and they all have shut out their husbands....and cling to each other as BFF (Best Friends Forever)....this is where I come in an would like to say... "If you are married.....your husband needs to be your best friend...." period!

Some girlfriend should not know all your intimate secrets....

Don't get me wrong...I think women should have lots of girlfriends if you like but we need to be very selective. We need to be careful of becoming too close with someone too quickly. We need to be careful what we share with one another too quickly. In these friendships we should always began with a safe distance. Our Pastor spoke a couple of weeks ago about this very thing. In every relationship outside of your marriage - there should be a safe distance.

There are people that in your first encounter they will share their whole life with you....be careful....

There are people that will seek you at all times and tell you how much they admire and pray for you....be careful....(I'm talking excessively)

There are people that speak for you when you are not around.......be careful...

There are people that become possesive of your time....be careful...

There are people that love you one day and ignore you the next....be careful...

If you are a married woman never have a close friendship with a man friend....be careful...

If you are a married man never have a close friendship with a woman friend....be careful...

I once had a women tell me that people always mistook her for me....she followed me around and told everyone she was a close friend....I did not even know her very well. She even had a picture of me that she carried and said people thought we were twins (she turned out to be a total freak!)....I'm saying all of this because sometimes we as women get too close too fast and it tends to blow up in our face.

I for one will not ever say that I have a "Best Friend" because I reserve that position for my husband.

I love my close friends and I have just a few of them and I can honestly say that I love them equally. I am open and will share the same thing with each one never reserving anything to just one. I don't prefer one to the other and I enjoy each one of their friendships individually.

Relationships between friends are like the seasons.... they are always changing, in a season you will be close to someone and then something changes, circumstances, or busyness, or someone moves away and the relationship changes. That is normal and should be ok....we all need to give each other the space that sometimes is needed.

When a relationship with a friend changes...accept it...it might just be for a short time and it serves its purpose. It could be that another friend is coming into your life for a period of time. This has happened to me and I embrace it and enjoy it. I worked with a dear friend many years ago and while we worked together for 2 years we became very close. After I left that position our friendship changed. I still hold her close to my heart and check in on her from time to time.

Let's have healthy relationships, have a safe distance in all relationships and leave the drama to the movies....

Next: "Steel Magnolias" another great film....

Ruth

God never forgets....

About 4 or 5 years ago we were asked to be the main speakers at a Couples Retreat. The main speakers of that conference had canceled at the last minute and this particular church in the Dallas area needed a replacement quick! We received a phone call through a series of events and were asked to step in. We traveled to Dallas and arrived at the camp site. (At that time we had been over the couples ministry in the church we were attending)So this was not totally out of the blue. At this retreat we had about 25 couples.

Wow! What a weekend! We shared our lives, our thoughts, our heart and our mistakes with these precious young couples. We ministered to them and counseled with them as a whole and individually. We had a great weekend conference and made special friends with these lovely people. During this weekend, we gave these couples a special assignment and they each had one hour to find a quiet place on the camp grounds and discuss certain issues with each other.....Harold and I walked to the lake. We sat there and prayed. During this prayer time...God impressed upon Harold that He would use us to help and guide couples in their marriages. Not because our marriage was and is so great....but because He knew that we had a few things we have learned along the way.

He placed a compassion in our hearts for couples! Its been a few years since that retreat and we have done some counseling and we have thought about that day and kept it on the back burner waiting for the Lord to guide us.

A few weeks ago, we had a guest speaker at our church, you may have seen him on TV.....Mark Chirrona. At the end of his preaching on Sunday night....he lay his hands on Harold and myself and prayed for us. He said that we are to keep our refrigerator full....that we would be feeding couples etc... This was our confirmation once again! I don't know all that God has in store for us it could be for now or it could be for the future. I do know that he has our today, tomorrow and our future. We trust Him with everything that we are and have.

We were so overwhelmed and in awe of the fact that God used this man to let us know that He still remembered and He reminded us of the things we heard in our heart at that Lake years ago. It is truly humbling to experience this.

We do have a strong and happy marriage. We have always been strong...there have been storms along the way but we never lost sight of our Commitment to God and our marriage. Thank God we did not give up on each other but that we held on to the promises of God. Harold and I have been married for 29 years. I love Him now more than ever....He is my better half no doubt.

Pray for us always dear friends.....

Dessert of the Month!

I thought you all would love to get a new recipe for the holidays. Pastor Renee and I swapped recipe's yesterday and I went home to try this one she gave me. It was soooo easy and delicious. My kinda cookin!

Renee's Coconut Cake Recipe
Duncan Hines Butter Cake mix (any brand)
1 Can Sweet condensed Milk
1 Can Coconut Cream (Liqueur section of the grocery store, don't know why!)
1 or 2 pgs of Frozen Coconut
Large container of Cool Whip

Bake the cake per box instructions. When cake is done poke holes in it all over.
Pour sweet condensed milk over all the cake let it soak through.
Pour Coconut Cream milk over all the cake let it soak through also.
Cover cake with the Cook whip. Then Pour coconut thawed all over the top of cake.
Refrigerate before serving!

Now maybe ya'll bakers have seen this before or know about it so stop laughing (Now).
But I have not....so....

Now Enjoy!
Happy Thanksgiving to you!

Love, Ruth

Surprises!

I love Fridays! We normally get the grand kids on every other friday and they spend the night, so thats a real treat for us. On this particular Friday we were not going to do anything. It had been such a busy week at work and then I think I had church meetings and things on several evenings that week. So when Friday came, I woke up with a head cold. Then it was an extremely busy day at work, had no time for lunch even. So I was pretty worn. I just wanted to go home get into my PJ's and watch a movie. Well.....that did not happen!

Harold said to me, "why don't you go rest for a little while cause I've made plans to go out" I said "I don't want to go out, I dont feel well and am sooooo tired".
I saw the look of disappointment and he hesitated...

My husband knows I don't like surprises....(he chooses not to believe me cause he loves Surprises and cannot understand that about me).

He had 2 tickets to see Julio Iglesias at the Arena and dinner. O boy! We argued that he should have warned me about it and we went back and forth on going or not going. Well we went afterall....

I chose to feel better and prayed for a burst of energy. When we arrived at the concert we encountered "Latin city" galore. Wow! For those of you that have followed my postings....you know how I feel about White Shoes. Well I am posting an example picture here for you. Lots of white shoes in the arena that day. YUCK!
Sorry if you like white shoes, there are exceptions to the rule but for me the rule is never.

We had a great time. I've always loved Julio Iglesias and his love songs. The concert was good, Julio is still looking handsome and still can sing even though he is older. I sat there and got all teary eyed when he sang songs that reminded me of our courtship years, when we were so young at 17 and 19. Where did the years go....

This was one good surprise! My hubby was so proud of himself afterwards. He did good!

Why you ask I don't like surprises? Well most of the time they are disappointing. Its not really what you wanted or you are mostly caught off guard and can hurt someone's feelings if you don't respond the way that they have envisioned it.

This Surprise was a surprise to me!

Why Worship?

What does worship mean to you? We know that worship means: "worth-ship". Giving worth to something. Worship on occasion may refer to an attitude towards someone (God)! This is what you will find as a definition in a dictionary or some book.

I've spent many years in church and have been serving in the worship department of a church since I was 10 years old. I'm a PK (Pastor's kid) so this means that in our home whether I wanted to or not I was going to be a worship leader. My dad had a beautiful Tenor voice and did not need a microphone. He had a powerful voice! Til this day no one sings "How Great Thou Art" better than he did. I grew up hearing him sing that in our church as well as all over the country in his speaking engagements to various churches. Til this day, I have a hard time singing that without choking up.

So many years of leading worship, being a part of some huge awesome production, singing in churches...recording a worship CD, Directing and Leading worship in a fairly large church etc...YADA< YADA< YADA. So many have done this and you reading this have probably the same experience and even more than me and in the end? SO WHAT! BIG DEAL! None of that means anything if you or I can't answer "What does worship mean to me", truthfully and in a manner that only God knows if we are sincere or not.

It means to me that our worship should always be directed toward God, and not the congretation. Exodus 34:14 God is the audience...

Too many worship teams get frustrated because a song did not come out right....or the song was too fast...or the sound guy did not respond quick enough. The frustration comes when we are focused on performing instead of worshipping. Don't get me wrong, I believe in excellence and we have to always be prepared but once the time of designated worship comes into play in a given church service then the focus should turn toward God! Not the congregation, not the sound guy, not the band, not the main leader, yes, not even the Pastors....

At the end of our worship time....what did God receive from your worship? That's what we need to ask ourselves.

When we focus our worship toward God, then it can only be sincere because His presence will allow nothing less...

He is an awesome God and worthy to be praised! When all is said and done...I wonder what he says of my worship toward him. Does he say..."Wow Ruth, I felt your truth and devotion towards me during your worship today" or does he say...."Wow Ruth, I did not feel you with me today...."

Oh Lord I want you to be touched by my worship towards you always! It troubles me that I fail you yet again, oh but your mercy encourages me so!

What does worship mean to you?

Blessings,

Ruth

Why Facebook?

Is there Facebook etiquette? I'm sure there is an unwritten law somewhere about this. The more and more I view what people post on Facebook the more it makes me twitch! Lately I just keep up with everyone and just read and I try not to post anything....

I think facebook should be about keeping up with your friends and family. Post pictures that you love. Encourage someone, say hi to someone....
All posts should be kept light. Never negative! "If you have nothing nice to say don't write it"!! Personally I'm obstaining going forward... If you don't like something that someone wrote. obstain. read it and move on to the next post. Hopefully if that person doesn't get any comments they will eventually stop writing these negative comments.

As Christians, Facebook, used correctly is a great way of lifting up the name of Jesus! Especially because so many of our friends and family may not be living for the Lord and if we post things that are negative its exactly the excuse they are looking for to remind you that all Christians are fake and have double standards.

Don't forget, what you post - literally hundreds of people view. Posting stuff like (this is just a random example):

"Why are people Loud"? ok so probably you just spoke to someone you thought was Loud so why the need to post it? Does it glorify God? Is it an uplifting comment? Do you post it to hurt someone?

Remember keep it light? Let's not be judgemental....we can hurt others with these one liners and you look like a "negative person" all the time.

I'm sure I've been guilty of this myself....but God put this in my Spirit and so I'm listening to HIM!

If you are having a bad day, say so....then people will pray for you or post an encouraging word.

If you are having a blessed day, say so....give God the glory.

If you need prayer, ask for it....

If you come across something funny...post it. (remember what you think is funny may not be funny for others but even so...abstain from commenting negatively.

If someone posts something that is inappropriate...hide it on the status. Don't try to correct them in a post. If you must, do it privately.

Facebook is not a place to correct someone. These such discussions should be done either by a phone call or in person.

This is just my thoughts on the subject....Let me know what you think?

Ruth

Feeling Discouraged?

Today, I woke up feeling discouraged....Do you ever feel this way? I am sure most of us do at some time or other. I looked to this verse this morning. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 - "Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do"

What gets us discouraged....circumstances, people, choices etc..

People are under a lot of pressure and I read where David felt this in the story at Ziklag (1 Samuel 30) and how he finally recovered from this trauma. David did not sing a sad desperate song. He sang about the majesty and power of God. The bible says that "David encouraged himself in the Lord his God" (Psalms 34). He made a choice...

He sang "I will bless the Lord at all times" all times, be it good, bad, sad, horrific times, desperate times, fearful times, in sickness, in despair...He was discouraged. He then sang "Oh, magnify the LORD with me. Magnify the LORD? what does this mean? thanks for asking.... It means like when you use a magnifying glass to see an object clearer or bigger. But we don't really make the object any bigger; we just changed the way we look at it. We cannot make God any larger than He is, but we can change the perspective we have-either smaller or larger. We can choose: to be encouraged by things or depressed by things.

Magnify the Lord for all the things He has done for you. He becomes larger and when He does, all those concerns and troubles become smaller.

I will encourage myself....today... My God is bigger and all things are small compared to him.

Be encouraged today. Don't allow people or circumstances bring you down. Don't allow fear to creep in. You are a child of the most High God. Let's act like it.

Be blessed,

Ruth

Window Through Which We Look?

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood.
The next morning while they are eating breakfast,

The young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside.
"That laundry is not very clean", she said.
"She doesn't know how to wash correctly.
Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry,
The young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a
Nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband:

"Look, she has learned how to wash correctly.
I wonder who taught her this."

The husband said, "I got up early this morning and
Cleaned our windows."

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others
Depends on the purity of the window through which we look


Love this....so true...Ruth

Benefit of the Doubt?

What does giving someone the Benefit of the Doubt mean?

I read several different answers and liked this one the most....."It is a saying that means that even if the cards are stacked against the alleged culprit, a degree of compassion will be allowed to show hopeful proof of innocence". WOW! I read it again and really like it.

Sooooooooooooooo......

If someone is quiet....it might be because they are tired, sleepy, not feeling well (rather than being stuck up)

If someone is friendly....it might be because they are genuinely friendly (rather than brown nosing)

If someone is confident....it might be because they have overcome some issues.....(rather than conceited or like the attention)

I've learned that there is always another side to the story or a reasonable answer.
If someone wears too much makeup....it might be because someone told them it looks good (rather than they want to make a statement)

If someone snaps at you...it might be because they are dealing with a difficult issue...(rather than they just want to hurt you)

Benefit of the doubt...Hmm!

Focused?

Are you easily distracted? or do you consider yourself a very focused individual?

We just returned from a very enjoyable vacation in Europe. I thank God for special friends that joined us and we had a great time!

We visited Paris and had two days in this most beautiful city...We hit the ground running because we wanted to experience everything. Everything we did was with a focus in mind. When on the Eiffel Tower I enjoyed the beauty of the mass construction. While in line to go up the tower I focused on the various people that surrounded me from all over the world. This tower is visited by 30,000 a day! Wow!

We traveled by train to Venice from Paris. We had a sleeper compartment with two small bunkbeds. Anything you did on the train you had to stay focused to do... otherwise you could make a mess....I spent most of the night praying because I could not sleep. (I found out the next day that Jeanette and Garry didn't sleep a wink either. Only Harold slept..cause he was the only one that took a sleeping pill). That night I prayed for everyone I could think of....that was better than counting sheep...because the sheep kept jumping off the train...

We got to Venice and got on a water taxi to our hotel which was an island to itself. "Beautiful"!! We walked the property and found a small chapel that was being restored. We used this opportunity to have Sunday morning worship! We prayed and thanked God for His blessings!


We continued after a few days stay in Venice and then got on a train to Florence, Italy then we rented a car and visited Seina and Ovieto in Italy. Then we drove to Rome....

When you are focused you are able to see things clearly.....There was so much to see that it could all drive you crazy because your head is constantly turning and you don't want to miss anything. I re-focused and saw the things that were important to me....I walked by the streets and really looked at my surroundings and I walked by people that the Lord prompted me to pray for and I did pray for them as I walked past them.

I encourage you to take a vacation and when you do, stay focused on God. Never leave Him behind. Let Him show you things that are important to Him. "Ask Him" to show you these things. I'm not trying to say that oh we were so holy....I'm saying that we had a great time. We laughed, we shopped!!!! We ate!!! But our focus stayed on God....His goodness, His favor.
We maintained our identity in Him first.

Harold shared something interesting in our Small Group dinner last night...."When Peter stepped out of the boat and attempted to walk on water....its says in the scripture that he saw the wind. I believe that when we step out in faith we walk or step into the spiritual realm .. we then are able to see things that we've never seen before. Sometimes these things may scare us because like Peter we've never seen the wind.... and if we just stay focused on Jesus He will assure us and if we just take that second step we will be able to see the things that Jesus sees and that He knows.

Stay Focused on God in all things and He will show you great things!

Paula Estela Morales Aldana - MY MOM!

Today mark's the one year anniversary of her passing. Oh how I miss her! I spent some quiet time at the cemetary this week and my heart is still so broken. I still hear her voice....I can feel her soft cheek on my lips. Here are the words of my lovely daughter as she eulogized her a year ago:



On February 16th, 1929 a star came into the world.

It was not an ordinary star. Perhaps it did not shine as bright as others; perhaps this star was not as glorious; but from the moment she took her first breath to her last, this star was constant, steadfast, and faithful.

In 1945, at the age of 16, Paula Estella Morales married Rev. Jaime Aldana in Guatemala City, Guatemala and thus, she began her life as the wife of a minister and evangelist. From the beginning she was called to be the star that would encourage, direct and strengthen her husband and future family.

Jaime and Estella Aldana traveled all throughout Central America spreading the good news of Christ. Many days were filled with hardships and fear, yet her courage and strength always shone bright in the midst of turmoil. When others around them abandoned them and renounced their God, Estella stood firm in her faith and at her husband’s side as they continued on their journey.

In 1963, she sacrificed all that she knew and was familiar with and left her home for the United States. Jaime had been called to plant one of the first Spanish speaking churches in Houston, Texas and so, with her husband and children, they began a new life.

Once in the U.S, life was not easy. Though without family or friends nearby and unable to speak the language, never once did Estella’s spark falter or fade.

Many times she could have given up.
Many times she could have broken faith.
She never did.

She paid many prices and sacrificed much so that her family would learn that no matter what, she was faithful, because her God was always faithful.

So, with ten children of various ages to feed, she took stride and did all she could do for her children’s sake. For years she worked two jobs, cleaning hotel rooms and offices while still assisting her husband at their church and singing in the choir. Through the years she became a prayer warrior and every day, without fail, she unceasingly lifted up prayers for her children and grandchildren.

Time went on. Battles of life continued, but Estella still remained constant, steadfast and faithful.

When her husband suffered various strokes; when he could no longer walk or speak, she became his voice. She became his loyal star that never once left his side until he went to be with their Savior.

And she continued to shine bright for her family, a family that had grown to overflowing for she was blessed to have loved 10 children, 18 grandchildren and 7 great-grandchildren.

To her family she was a light source. She was radiant and bright. She helped guide them when life was dark and made clear their uncertain paths. She was a comfort, and encourager and friend.

It is because of her faithfulness to Christ that her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren are also faithful to Him.

She was constant, steadfast and faithful and such beams that shone through her will continue to shine through her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren to all the generations after and towards our Heavenly Father.

Written by Andrea Portilla Galdamez

She was my Star....I love you Mama!



Ruth

Why Oh Why do Women Envy?

I attended last night a fashion show at Neiman Marcus! We had lots of fun! My hubby was a great sport. After much prodding he joined me. At first he said "no", then he said "I will wait for you in the car"...then as I am sitting in the store waiting for the show to begin I called him and said "please join me, I don't want to enjoy this by myself"..... He did join me after that! So sweet! Cause you see... He knows I love fashion shows! I've been going to them most of my life....Thank God for the Galleria...cause they have them each year.

Of course, Chris was there with Leah so I wasn't really alone...but then again anytime He is not with me "I am alone"...... He is my best friend and we have lots of fun!

Anyway.....as I stood in line at first to grab my bag of goodies, I watched Women of all sizes, all colors, all nationalities and of all ages! I listened in on many conversations.....one thing we all had in common was the love of fashion.....

I watched as Women sized up every other woman that they came into contact with. By contact, I mean as she walked by..... I noticed that when a Real beautiful woman passed by...how many looked at her and took mental notes.....some smirked at her of course... it was all in the face. Have you noticed that some Women can actually Smirk without making a sound? I had a blast just watching and deciphering looks.....

As we were sitting waiting for the shoe, handbag, jewelry show to begin.....(we had great seats), the models began to arrive.... Talk about beautiful....and what fabulous legs! Some women in the crowd immediately perked up! I'm sure every women in the room was thinking WOW! Wish I looked like her.....!!! I thought "Oh to be young again"! At 49, I just wish I had that flawless face and young looking skin!

My point here is.... there were so many envious looks going on last night. Many women criti-sizing (sizing up). Why do Women do this? Its not very attractive.....Do they not realize that it shows on their faces? When I come across a beautiful women and have an opportunity to speak to her I tell her how beautiful she is....we should always compliment each other. If you notice....most women don't compliment each other. Its very rare. Women that are insecure don't compliment other women....that's the bottom line. Women that are envious tend to be moody and one day greet you and the next day ignore you.

I love Women! I have a desire in my heart to share the Love of God with all Women. I want Women to feel secure in their own skin. To feel loved no matter what. To enhance their inner beauty...to be open and honest with each other. To never be intimidated by another Woman. Let's love one another as God loves us. If you were to walk into a room full of gorgeous Women, how would you feel? What story would your face tell?

Lord, help us to not cut each other down......allow us to always encourage one another and "Show Me How To Love like You have Loved me! Amen!

Youth!

Youth Can Lead!

We had an awesome Youth Outreach service last night at Church. The gym was filled with about 300+ teenagers and young adults! It reminded me of our years of Youth Leaders....to be a youth leader you have to be called of God! We did it for 12+ years. We loved every minute of it and were able to share our lives with the teens in our youth group back then.

Last night I saw the same faces, the same worship, the same tears, the same cry for a closer relationship with the Lord. I saw kids crying out to the Lord. I saw kids coming to the altar looking for an answer and finding one so precious.

I saw girls holding each other and just weeping...tear stained faces that just need to be loved and understood. Girls that need to be guided ever so gently......that will one day be wives and mothers and leaders in this nation.

I saw boys and young men lifting their hands in worship and crying openly as they felt the presence of God. Boys and young men that will one day be husbands and fathers and leaders in this nation.

My heart swelled with joy as I saw over 100 kids give their lives to the Lord and/or recommitted their lives to the Lord.

I saw a Youth Pastor with a calling - our dear Pastor Jimn. There are not many out there with the same passion that I saw in him. The first time I met him, I felt a quickening in my spirit! I told my husband....this guy is going to be one of the great ones! I love his Passion! He preached our socks off last night!

The room was filled with electricity from the moment we walked in. Lights flickering everywhere, kids excited and walking around waiting for the service to begin. Several churches with different religious Christian backgrounds participated. We left denomination at the door and we all entered in one accord....ready to worship the one true God!

I prayed with a young girl of a mere 13 years old....she stood with a far away look about her. I felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit push me to stand behind her and pray for her. I whispered in her ear...."Your Father in Heaven truly Loves you".....I shared with her His love and she began to weep. We held each other for a lifetime it seemed. I felt her pain began to melt. I wrapped my arms around her and told her that God's arms were around the both of us at the moment. I felt a warmth envelop us and we both cried....She for all the pain she has endured in such a short lived life of 13....Me, for the priviledge of being used by the Holy Spirit in such a way!

Our Father is such a tender God. He truly hears our heart...He truly is involved in the details of our lives.

I am so in awe of all that took place last night at this Youth Rally that our church sponsored. Lives were changed! Young lives!

My heart is still in love with "Youth Ministry" its a calling that will never leave you!

Thank you Lord for your faithfulness once again!

Ruth

Why Greed?

Interesting that as you look at the news, tv, articles etc....we see more and more the greed in our society. Where did it come from? Why is so predominant in our world?

In my banking career I traveled to Mexico, Latin America and Europe. Clients were millionaires and their homes we visited were amazing! During my business trips I was able to view a whole new world, a world of money. I met the older generation of individuals that were born in a poor family and made their money by pure sweat and tears. These millionaires lived modestly....had ideals.....had morals.....most, in one way or another claimed to believe in God. I remember having breakfast with one of these individuals in Mexico City. We were ushered into his Penthouse. A beautiful magnificent view of the whole city. This couple at the time were in their 70's....they had just made this home purchase and still felt very awkward about its grandiosity. Seemed like they felt guilty of living in such lavish style.

I then began meeting the next generation of these millionaires......something was different...

these were brought up in rich homes....most had lost that simpleness that their parents still had. They had fancier cars....fancier homes.....our discussions were about fear of being kidnapped, fear of keeping up with the Jones' etc. A very different conversation. Very cold and very non-chalant. They were harder to work with and they could not trust anyone.

Something was lost from one generation to the next....

I worked for a company and an individual that claimed to be concerned and loyal to his clients and his employees. He professed to be a Christian. I remember offsite meetings where He would open in prayer in a room of about 50 - 75 Financial brokers. Everyone bowed their heads while He or his CFO prayed. Christianity was talked about openly in the halls....These top 3 executives came from Christian homes and attended church weekly....taught Sunday School, were on the board at their churches, etc...

He is now in jail and his company has been dissolved...all of it was a lie. A ponzi scheme! Talk about having discernment. I worked there for 1 year and all the while kept questioning things. Within 3 months of my employment there I started getting suspicious...everything was too good to be true. The plan - start a well exit plan in order to remove all potential harm for our clients that we brought with us. Thanks God! We did this in time!

I look back and I am so grateful to the Lord that he protected me in that whole mess!

So much greed! "He who is greedy is always in want".

The heartbreaking news is that when I skim through Christian TV...the greed is showing up there as well. All talk is about prosperity....for what? So that we can buy more things? Think about all the elderly that give and send their money gifts to these ministries all the while living in lack. This age group is bombarded with requests and they then feel an obligation to help out, because "that's what faith is all about"....that's what they are being told.

I have to reel myself in every now and then...how? I try to give out more than I give in...I don't ever want to be taken in by greed! I will fight it....I've seen too much of it!

I want to live my life in servitude. Please Lord help me accomplish this! I need more of you and less of me.....

I'm writing this because I've spent the morning looking at my old boss in handcuffs....He started off in a Christian home. He knows the Lord. Alot of the people there did. Somewhere down the road they got greedy.......they made a choice and it was the wrong one....

It could happen to you... to me... to anyone....

Ruth

More on how to dress over 40!

I found some great tips on this issue. I've been working on my arms and legs because thats all I'm a gonna be showing in the years to come.....HA!

Women over 40....lets get together and wow our world! Diane Saywer is a classy lady and one of my favorite!

Read and be moved:

Big Changes:

One of the most challenging fashion aspects for women over 40 is how to dress for the changes that are occuring.

"Our bodies are in transition. Our lifestyles are changing. We may be becoming empty nesters, divorcing, starting new jobs," said Gross.
"As your body is changing, so must your clothes," she said. You have to learn how to flatter your body without doing a style overhaul.

And even if you are in the best shape of your life -- she gives 50-something Oprah as an example -- your body is physiologically changing, from thinning hair to ruddier, duller skin.
The key to dealing with the changes and being your best is to refresh your look, said Gross, who is currently working on a book about style over 40.

"Shoes and bags are the quickest way to update your look," said Gross. Women over 40 need to learn how to adapt trends that will work for them, she said.
Most of all you need learn to not hang onto what worked before; undergo what Gross calls a "style evolution" and learn to dress for your new assets.

Fashion Sins for Over 40:

Gross said there are a few guidelines that will help you look your best:
Don't dress too young. "The worst thing you can do is to dress younger than you are," said Gross. "It makes you look older."

No miniskirts, regardless of how great your legs are, said this former model (who is thinking about making pillows out of her minis).

Skip baggy clothes and look for pieces that give you shape.
Don't think you can wear the same colors you did in your 20s (at least not against your face).
Don't pick colors from color charts; experiment by trying on different colors when you go shopping. "You'll know it when you see it instantly," she said.
"Trendy is no longer attractive," she said. "Don't worry about the trend of the moment." Instead, she suggested you find a print or a bold piece of jewelry and develop a signature look.

Fashion and Beauty Fixes:

Gravity takes its toll on women of a certain age, but Gross said fashion tricks can camouflage most of these problems:

Wrinkled neck - Stand-up or turn-up collars, according to Gross, are a great way to cover that area and bring focus to the face. She mentioned Candace Bergen in "Boston Legal" as a good example of making that look work for her.

Thick in the middle - Add jackets and pieces that will give you shape, she said.
Thinner hair- "Your hair has to suit you. Get a fresh cut," she said. She also said shorter hair gives more of a lift and the variety of new products can improve your hairstyle.
Focus on shoulders and legs - They are the slowest to age, she said. That doesn't mean wearing miniskirts, she said, but you can bring attention to legs with a knee-length skirt and sexy shoes.
Change in coloring - Gross reminded women to lighten up. One tip she got from a chic former fashion director was to always wear a bit of white close to the face. Soft colors -- pale pink, white, beige, ice blue -- bring light to the face, she said.

Get Started Looking Your Best:

Look at mature television and movie actresses you admire and emulate their look, said Gross.
Shop at stores that cater to stylish, mature women. Gross listed Chicos, Liz Claiborne, Giorgo Armani, St. John and Escada as a few of the manufacturers and designers who offer great selections for women over 40.

Don't be afraid to experiment. By the time you are 50 you have some sense of what your style is, she said. You probably have the basics down and now it's time to add pizzazz like adding bold glasses or wearing a collar turned up.

Recycle pieces from your closet (with caution). Gross said that some trends can come back and you can revisit them with a twist. She says chain belts are a good example. But she said the classics -- trench coats, Pucci prints, leopard prints -- are the best pieces to keep pulling out.

Article by Cynthia Nellis

Now we know what to do but most importantly what NOT to do! YEAH! I will have more on this soon....

Ruth

Jenny Sanford!

I just read a good article...This woman Jenny is such an inspiration to how Women should react to an unfaithful husband.

Here is an exerpt:

I think”—she chooses her words carefully—“my husband has got some issues that he needs to work on, about happiness and what happiness means. You wish it wouldn’t come to a crisis like this, but I think when a lot of men get to this midpoint in life, they start asking questions that they probably should have asked a long time ago.” A former investment banker and a stay-at-home, full-time mother, Sanford doesn’t share her husband’s angst. “Midlife aging is different for men than for women,” she says. “Mark is worried about what his next job is. He worries about making money, running for office again, his legacy. I know my legacy is my children. I don’t worry about that.”

She is married to the Governor of South Carolina. Her husband admitted to an affair. She has handled this so gracefully...

I like her words above where she said "a lot of men start asking questions that they probably should have asked a long time ago". I SO AGREE WITH THIS!

Ladies ask your spouse questions about you, about his feelings, about your marriage! Don't take anything for granted. Part of having a successful marriage is trying to anticipate before the bomb drops. Having a feeling and not ignoring it....be bold in your marriage. If there is something you are not quite sure of bring it out in the open. Ask questions!!!!!!! Make your spouse talk to you about his feelings.

Read the whole article...it really is interesting. I've linked it here:

http://www.style.com/vogue/feature/2009/08/jenny-sanford/

Ruth

Sons

If you do for one you have to do for the other as well....That has been our motto in raising our son and daughter. I don't know how parents do it when they have more than one girl and more than one son. Quite frankly I'm glad we just had one of each because I can truly say.....

My daughter is my favorite daughter and my son is my favorite son.

Chris has always been my protector. He has always felt in his heart since he was a child that this was his role as my son. He takes up his sword just as his father takes up his sword when it comes to me. Don't cross either one of them when their sword of protection is up because there is no telling what they would do to shield me....

Chris has a very tender heart....and he covers it up with walls to protect it. He loves deeply and he is very loyal. He has a great sense of humor and he can make me laugh til i pee....ooops! Chris probably looks more like me but his personality is all like his dad. That's why I don't worry about him much anymore because God showed me that he would grow up to be like his Dad. So, I have every confidence that he will be a great husband and dad when the time comes. But most importantly he will love the Lord just like his Dad does because they are very similar in their hearts.

Chris is also a gifted singer and he is learning to play the guitar....His passion is music and sound. We prayed for a long time that he would be a part of our church because I knew that the men in our church would be great influences in his life. I love that men like Pastor Randy, Garry, Tom, Rodney, Ron, Rex, Howard, Greg, Michael R. are surrounding him. Recently he went to a men's prayer breakfast with Harold and when he came home he mentioned to me all the men that were there that he thought were cool....those that I have mentioned above....

Chris is in college and earning a teaching degree. He wants to be a history teacher.

One thing...I must say, as a mother we are all very protective of our children...so if you mess with my child your gonna have to deal with me and it won't be pretty... and all the mothers said? "AMEN".

Pray for your children because they are a great gift from God! Love them, encourage them, enjoy them....

Ruth

Daughters

Today I'd like to introduce you all to my lovely daughter.

She is amazing, beautiful and a combination of both her father and mother.

I look at her life and see alot of me in her. I look at her...and see her dad. She resembles Harold when you look at her.

Andrea is 27 years old. I cannot believe my firstborn is this old. Where did the years go... I remember her as a little girl and she was very quiet and thoughful. Very strong willed and at an early age, like so many little girls, showed her desire to be a Mom.

She is a high school teacher by trade although now retired to be a stay at home Mom! I'm so proud of her and so happy that she chose to do this no matter the cost.

She knew at age 9 who her husband would be (God had told her and she pointed him out to me at church one Sunday morning) and she told me this....He is the one she married.

She loves the Lord and seeks HIM everyday. She is gifted in so many ways, she can actually sew.....I've seen her work and she is awesome! She just picked this up and is already a pro. She certainly doesn't get this from me. Til this day I won't live down the fact that when I was pregnant with her I made the attempt to sew a couple of Care Bears. You know, the kind that you just had to cut out on the dotted line and then turn inside out to sew the stitching and then leave a little hole after you turn it right side out and fill with cotton or feather like stuffing to make a pillow? (Whew! that was a mouthful!) I made a blue one and a pink one. To this day my kiddos make fun of me because they were awful. All lumpy and the stitching was all crooked.

She has a beautiful voice and I think she should sing more often in church! She doesn't know it yet but God willing I want to have a 30th anniversary party next year and she will be singing!

Andrea is most importantly a great wife and mother. I watch her with her babies and she cares for them with such tenderness and love. I hope this comes from me...I hope she can somehow remember how deeply I cared for both of them, I mean actually have some memories that she can go to when she was a little tot. Regrets...sure... we mom's always have regrets because we lived the moment not always with the future in mind. But huge regrets?...thank God I don't. My kids were and still mean the world to me. There is nothing or no one beside their father that I love most in this life!

Mothers and Daughters have a special bond. The bond is motherhood! She is strong and level headed...like me!

My baby girl grew up to be an awesome Woman of Faith in Christ! She continues to transcend me in so many areas....that makes me so happy! I love her so!

next....Sons!

Why Sisters in Christ?

Dear all:

I just want to brag about my dear sisters in Christ!

Harold and I joined our church a little over a year ago. God really did an incredible thing for us. When I look back as to how we arrived here I know it was Him that pushed us toward this next phase in our lives.

I've come to realize and accept in a better way that we live our lives in seasons. Change has always been a struggle for me in the past. But we grow with change. We meet new people with change. We try new things with change. We try new restaurants with change. We see things different with change.

I have never been one to have many friends, especially women. I didn't have time for it I told myself. It was too much work. I preferred the friendship of my husband mostly and once in a while allowed myself to have one close friend maybe two. I'm probably not alone in the fact that we've at some point all have been betrayed by a friend, or just simply hurt by one.

But God....I find myself surrounded by amazing women these days. I hold them in such high esteem and truly have come to love each one of them. Some I know very closely...like Jeanette, Nelda, Kimberly, Heidi, Sherry, Linda, Myndi, Pam... and of course Pastor Renee just to name a few and so many others and I find them to be such an awesome example of the phrase we so often use "Women of God". They are truly a gift to the body of Christ and our Church. Strong, Capable, all professional and none of which get their feelings hurt easily but always give each other the benefit of the doubt. This is rare in our breed. Ladies, I salute you!

I also have two other friends that have been constant in my life...Michelle and Istmenia. You walked with me through difficult times and have stuck around when I needed you most.

Thank you for being my friends! I look forward to working with each of you more and more as we push forward in our women's ministry!

God knew exactly what I needed and he gently pushed me towards you all.

Ruth

Why Knees again?

Hello Ladies:

For those of you that doubted me.....I want you all to please read this article I found this morning. See - I was right.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1201524/No-longer-bees-knees-Should-woman-legs-40.html


Talk to you later, running out to buy more long skirts!!

Ruth

Why do we clutter?

I found a great article that I am going to share with all you! There is always a reason as to the things we do or do not do. Now, if you come over to my house you will always see it clean and well organized! I hate clutter.....I've always taken enormous pride in my organized home. Years ago when the kids were small and I was home with them we had some neighbors that would ask us to water their plants while they were out of town. The first time I walked into their home I was shocked. There was at least 10 newspapers on their dining room table, mail, magazines, etc and you could not see the table top. Their staircase had a pair of shoes on each step his/her's. About at least 20 pairs of different styles going up the stairs. Their kitchen had dishes piled up high in their sink...and there were clothes everywhere in their living room just strewn all over the floor! I walked out and did not even water the plants. They were dying anyway and I figured that was best under the circumstances..... see the captioned picture? That is what they needed!

I do however have a problem concerning my closet! I hate getting rid of my old clothes. I converted a bedroom into my personal closet. I have so much clothing and shoes....and I plan in my head all the time as to when I will tackle this project. Its been a few years with these back and forth thoughts that enter my head in the wee hours of the night...hence this article......
which I thought had some interesting points!

The Clutter Within: What's Your Clutter Personality?
Posted April 27, 2008 by Cynthia Townley Ewer
It's silent. It's sneaky. It creeps about in corners: clutter. When the state of the house aggravates you to your last nerve, it's tempting to launch an all-out battle in the war against clutter.
First, though, know your enemy! There are as many reasons for household clutter as there are clutterers. As Pogo says, "We have seen the enemy, and he is us!"
Take aim on your household's clutter problem by going to the root of the problem: your own thinking.

What's your clutter personality ... and which of these internal voices strikes a chord?

The Hoarder: "This might come in hand someday!"
Hoarding is rooted in insecurity, financial or otherwise. Deep down, Hoarders fear that they'll never have the resources they need if they let go of any possession, no matter how worn, useless or superfluous.
If cabinets and closets are crammed with egg cartons, cracked margarine containers, and old magazines, there's likely Hoarding behavior underlying the clutter.
Hoarders need to be remind themselves that resources will always be available. Where can a Hoarder look outside the home for a substitute Hoard?
Reassure yourself! Stuff will be with us always. Find magazines indexed at the library, kitchenware marked down at yard sales, and every small appliance known to man can be found (cheap!)at the thrift store. Think of these off-site treasure troves as attenuated household storage areas. Dare to dump it!

The Deferrer: "I'll think about that tomorrow!"
Those of the deferral mindset are guilty of the great set-aside. Bills, notices, old newspapers, items that need cleaning or repair, and household projects are all set aside to be dealt with another day. The Deferrer will leave dinner dishes in the sink, wet laundry in the washer, and dropped fruit underneath the backyard apple tree.
Deferrers need to be reminded that tomorrow has no more time or energy than today--and that deferring decisions drags down each new day with yesterday's unfinished business.
Since this behavior is grounded in procrastination, apply the best remedy: action. For Deferrers, simply making a start creates the momentum needed to finish the job. Remember, it's easier to keep a rolling stone in motion, than it is to pick it up and start it rolling the first time!

The Rebel: "I don't wanna and you can't make me!"
Somehow, it's all Mom's fault. Rebels were forced to pick up after themselves as children; as adults, they're still expressing the mute and stubborn determination of a four-year-old who refuses to pick up his toys.
Rebel clutter can be anything, but often centers on household activities. No, the Rebel won't put his or her clothes in the hamper, cereal bowl in the dishwasher, or car in the garage--even when the clothing gets wrinkled, the cereal bowl hardens into yellow goop, and the car gets damaged by roadside traffic.
Rebels need to remind themselves that the war is over. They don't live with Mom anymore--and their own family deserves an adult on the job, not a sulky child.
Tell that inner Rebel, "It's okay--I'm the parent now, and I want a house that's nice to live in. By switching places with the old authority figure, the Rebel can find a way out of "I don't wanna!"

The Perfectionist: "Next week, I'll organize everything--perfectly!"
Perfectionists are wonderful people, but they live in an all-or-nothing world. They do wonderful things--when they do them!
Perfectionism forms an inner barrier to cutting clutter because the Perfectionist can't abide doing a less-than-perfect job. Without the time to give 110% to the project, the Perfectionist Clutterer prefers to let matters--and the piles of stuff--slide.
For example, plastic food containers may be overflowing their cabinet, but the Perfectionist Clutterer won't scrabble them to rights until he or she can purchase the perfect shelf paper, lid holder organizer, and color-coded labels. As a result, the massed and crowded containers stay put, falling down onto the feet of anyone hapless enough to open the cupboard door
Perfectionist Clutterers need to remind themselves of the 20-80 rule: 20% of every job takes care of 80% of the problem, while fixing the remaining 20% will gobble 80% of the job. By giving themselves permission to do only 20%, Perfectionist Clutterers get off the dime and get going.
It is perfectly fine to tell the inner Perfectionist, "Today, I'll do the important 20% of that job: sorting, stacking and organizing those food containers. Later, I'll do the other 80%, buying organizers and putting down shelf paper. If later never comes? Well, you've outwitted your inner Perfectionist Clutterer. Congratulations!

The Sentimentalist: "Oh, the little darling!"
Sentimentalists never met a memento they didn't like--or keep. Children's clothing and school papers, faded greeting cards, souvenirs from long-ago trips and jumbled keepsakes crowd the environment of the Sentimental Clutterer.
Problem is, there's so much to remember that the truly endearing items get lost in a flood. Who can find the first grade report card in an attic full of boxes of paper?
The Sentimental Clutterer needs reduce the mass of mementos to a more portable state, changing mindset from an indiscriminate "Awwww!" to a more selective stance.
For example, a Sentimental Clutterer can corral each child's school papers into a single box by selecting one best drawing, theme or project each month.
Other ideas for reining in rampant Sentimental Clutter include scrapbooking the very best photos and papers, or photographing surplus sentimental clutter before letting it go. Sort it out, choose the best, keep the memories and dump the rest!

Which are you? Hmm!

Why Cuddle?

I have another pet-peeve! Why is it that most couples don't show their affection towards each other? I DON'T KNOW! ugh!

The definition of Cuddling is: Prolonged hugging in a cozy, comfortable position.

A hug is a form of physical intimacy that usually involves closing or holding the arms around another person or group of persons. The hug is one of the most common human signs of love and affection, along with kissing. Sometimes, hugs are a romantic exchange. They are also a sign of support and comfort. Hugs have been proven to have health benefits. One study has shown that hugs increase levels of oxytocin and reduce blood pressure. Many species of animals engage in similar exchanges of warmth....look at the captioned picture above....how precious that the King of the jungle puts his paw on his love to let her know he is there to love and protect her. I love it!

So, now that we've been educated in this measure....lets all do more hugging.

Now, back to the couples. I'd like to see more affection with my peers. I'm talking about couples that have been married 10 years or more. Somewhere along the way when I look around and I do look around all the time... in restaurants, movies, church, the mall..etc. couples have lost "that loving feeling" there is very little communication going around and thus very little warmth and touchiness between couples.

In some couples, there is an awkwardness... why? I'm glad you asked! Because somewhere along the way you've disconnected with each other. You've allowed, children, work, careers, meetings, finances, people, selfishness, busyness etc. get inbetween you.

What is the solution? Thank you for inquiring! CUDDLE! Watch a movie together in your living room and cuddle. Let your kids see you cuddle...that will end the awkwardness and then you can move on to hugging...and even hold hands as you walk from the parking lot to the restaurant. When you are alone with each other talk about when you first met...re-live your great memories.

I've heard all kinds of excuses in the past from people that say..."I'm a private person" or "I was never hugged as a child" or "I don't like to show affection in public" or "it is not part of my culture" yada, yada, yada.... my word to you is "Bull". There is no excuse!

We are a family that hugs! But, growing up I was never hugged much as a child just because we were such a large family and my dear parents were so busy working in the ministry. They were so worn out with life that hugs were sparse. Harold and I have always been affectionate...there have been times along the way of our 29 years of marriage when we did not want to hug...but we did it anyway. We forced ourselves to re-connect during some difficult times and thus we've lasted this long. But I can safely say, we work at our relationship daily. We hug all the time, we cuddle all the time! It keeps us close!

Is your spouse really your best friend? Then show it!

Why - Cancer

The big "C". I know God hates this disease and we should too. There have been so many of our family and friends attacked by this horrible deteriorating disease. I have to wonder if this is environmental...chemical....the mixing of all these things and how we have eaten and what man has created to facilitate our lives. I wonder if the hairspray we put on each day enters our scalp and can cause....

What about the powdered drinks we mix with water. The Pills we take each day that mix in our system with other chemicals in food that we eat....the list goes on and on. We can get obsessed with the "if", "why" and "what's".

I've known so many that have had this disease and some live and some die. How do you pray? I do know that it is God's will that all should be healed. So why is it that some don't get healed? Does it have to do with "their" faith? Does it have to do with how "we pray" for them? So many questions...

We probably will never know the whole reasoning behind this. Is it ok to question? Yes of course! I ask God these questions all the time. He does not always give me a straight answer but I'm smart enough to know that He doesn't have to. He is after all "GOD"! What He does give me is a peace that comes upon me that assures me that He is always in control!

My brother in law is 85 years old and has cancer. He just finished a treatment at MD Anderson. Praise God he is doing well. He knows the Lord through all of this and is ready to meet him when the time comes. "God is in control".

My daughters' best friends are dealing with their father with Cancer. He is at the end of his days. He knows the Lord, praise God! His family will miss him tremendously. He is only in his late 40s early 50s. "God is in conrol".

A friends husband from church was just diagnosed with cancer in his mouth last week. We are praying for his complete healing of course. I say "God is in control".

Let's pray and ask God to give us wisdom in how to pray when we hear of loved ones being struck by this evil. Let's pray that the Lord keep us strong and believe in the power of the blood of Christ that was shed for our illnesses. I pray for your loved ones and I ask that you pray for mine.

Love, Ruth

Why - Hosanna!

Hosanna is the cry of praise or adoration that was shouted in recognition of the Messiah - Jesus Christ! Hosanna is a cry of salvation! A declaration of Praise!

When I come across people that I know and love and know they are lost....I whisper "Hosanna" to them. It also means "Save Now". I encourage you speak this to the lost....

I had lunch with a friend the other day....He is now saved! Its was a promise from God because I prayed for him for so many years...

His mother is a catholic and he is concerned because she would not go with him to church. She would only go to a catholic church and he is no longer a catholic. He reminded me that she has been a devout catholic all her life yet does not know anything about being saved. Her religion is a ritual to her. She does not know Christ as her personal Savior. When I prayed for her this morning I whispered "Hosanna" (Save now) ...... God can reveal all things to her personally, she does not have to change religion she just has to read her bible herself, speak to Christ herself, ask Him to save her by becoming her personal Savior...She needs to understand that the Priest is just there to preach the gospel...and he cannot save her....she has to make the request herself to Jesus alone...for her salvation. Just good deeds will not save her....

I've been listening to this song since Sunday morning and requested it for this coming Sunday morning....Its one of my favorite....

Hosanna!

"I see the King of Glory, coming on the clouds with fire
the whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes
I see His love and mercy, washing over all our sin
the people sing, the people sing

Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest

I see a generation rising up to take their place
with selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a near revival stirring as we pray and seek
we're on our knees, we're on our knees

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity.

Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosann in the highest!

If you have a chance....go to youtube.com and listen to it yourself..... "Hosanna by Hillsong"

It's powerful!

Why - A watchman?

Last night I saw our dear Pastor Randy on TV. Now normally "I DO NOT WATCH TBN, DAYSTAR...etc" but I did last night because of him. I love my Pastor and greatly respect him.

He was great and so natural...his comments of how the state of the world is at this time, rang a bell in me...I was so proud of Him.

This brings me to Ezekiel 33 which I read last night before going to sleep. This chapter speaks of "Ezekiel a Watchman". As I read, again it was like a bell went off in me, I perked up and re-read these versus....

We are to be prepared. Our Shepherd is our watchman...If our watchman says "its time to come back to the Lord" ... come back, if he says..."there needs to be an awakening of the church", lets wake up..."there will be harder times ahead"... let's get prepared.

In Ezekiel, it says:

1. If the watchman sees the sword coming against the land and blows the trumpet to warn the people, then if anyone hears the trumpet but does not take warning and the sword comes and takes his life, his blood will be on his own head.

2. If he (not the watchman) had taken the warning, he would have saved himself.

3. But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet to warn the people and the sword comes and takes the life of one of them, God will hold the watchman accountable for that life...

We see the state of the World, the financial state, the moral state, the spiritual state. We've heard the words of our Pastors' "the Watchman" all around the world. We need to be prepared. Our world is changing as I am writing this....what we've done in the past to be close to God is no longer enough. How we've served in our churches in the past is no longer enough...How we've prayed in the past is no longer enough...how we seeked His face in the past is no longer enough....

I encourage you and myself to change how we've done things in the past and upgrade. Let's not be caught off guard. There is a financial crisis...lets be careful with our money. There is a strong attack against Christians...lets be knowledgeable and use our sword and be bold. There is a spiritual complacency all around us...get on your knees and ask for discernment, ask the Lord to knead your Spirit.

You wonder why I don't listen to those Christian networks..."they compromise". Most of the people that appear are teaching false doctrine. I know there are some that are good and sound but those are so few. So instead of allowing someone else to filter my mind with false teaching...I listen to my Pastor who I see weekly and I see his character. But mostly I seek God and read and discern myself with His guidance. I do seek a few of the trusted scholars that I know and learn from them. Its not about knowing everything, because obviously I don't... But be careful who you listen to .... don't accept every teaching that is out there... always go back and verify it with the Word of God.

Read Ezekiel 33 - the whole chapter...it gave me chills and it is so relevant to our time!

What makes you a good Leader in the Church?

As Pastors, teachers, leaders......etc....we need to know what makes us good leaders as we each serve the Church with our gifts.

Many leaders are Type A individuals that at first they think they would do a much better job if it were not for all the problem people around them. Type A leaders are often lifted up as the ones who build great ministries because they are efficient. Many of these begin their work aggressively, getting the job done at all costs. Beginners unconsciously see talented people as tools to build something for the glory of God and weaker people as dead weight who bring everyone down. These rookie leaders think more about the responsibility others have to them than the responsibility they have to others. I encourage you not to fall into this category.

In Hebrews 13:17 and Phil 2:4 we are commanded to live for others. After a few awkward instances we realize that we can't do what God has called us to do without help. Once this has been cleared up in our heads we as leaders began to care how well others are doing in their own race because it affects how well they can do. When a leader realizes he/she cannot afford to try and go it alone the Lord turns their attention to those around them.

If you are a leader and are a part of a ministry - you have a few responsibilities:

1. See those around you and seek them....

The young girl that got her feelings hurt is important to God. The shy young man that never contributes because of his shyness is important to God. The woman that has so many needs...is important to God. The man that is harsh with words...is important to God. We need a personal relationship with each one of them. Leaders are to know people by name, know what they need, know where they are going and what they need to do.

2. Encourage them...

When I was 16, I encouraged a very shy young man that went from never talking to being the clown in our church group. I spent time with him as a friend during a youth conference and literally by the end of the weekend he was out of his shell. It was incredible to me because the change was so drastic. His family asked what I had done to him jokingly...but all I did was listen to him, tease him and encouraged him. A few years later when he got married he wrote to me and thanked me for helping him come out of his shell. He was no longer shy and made a choice to not let others and fear keep him locked up. Man! that was such a blessing to me. I will never forget him!

3. Once a relationship is developed - Shake up their world...

Let them know they can do far more than they dreamed. Build a fire in their heart...let them see God's power working through you as a leader.

4. Help them grow...

Suggest ministries and events for them to get involved in. Share with them the books that have impacted your life. Contact them, check on them periodically. We are to steer them not drive them. Pointing them not forcing them into God's direction.

5. Show them...

I personally trained my last secretary and I literally had her follow me everywhere around the office. I took her under my wing and walked each day with her for 2 weeks and showed her all the things I needed her to learn and understand. I showed, pointed, gave examples and encouraged her. She is still a dear friend to me and we had and have a mutual respect for each other til this day even though we don't work together any longer.

6. Shape their heart...

How do you do this? By example. You should always use nurturing words, not harsh ones, if a harsh word slips be quick to apologize. "Sometimes we don't see clearly how we deliver the message"...(a dear friend J.O. mentioned this statement to me and it prompted my spirit!) Thanks blondie!

7. Set them Free ...

We need to supervise but not smother...When the ministry has the right people in the right spot who are working in love and unity, we are promised that the ministry will increase with the increase of God. Thats so much better than the increase of a bunch of talented people!

God personally cares for all His people. Leaders should be known for their care of people more than they should be known for accomplishing great deeds.


What kind of Leader are You?

by: Ruth Galdamez - June '09

Why - Are you looking for a relationship?

Are you looking for a relationship?

So many of you young people are probably saying yes! Right? Well the correct answer really should be no!

If I could tell you personally of all the heartache you will eliminate just by this one small rule….don’t pursue someone…

Does God have someone especially made for you? I believe He does…He did for me.
I met my husband when I was 16 years old and he was 19. Our story is a little different than most but I believe God ordained it. My family is originally from Guatemala and my parents moved to Houston, Texas when I was 3 years old. I had never been back to Guatemala and so at the age of 16 I traveled there with my mother and older sister. Six days into our vacation there, my cousin (who we were staying with) took my sister and I out for a tour of the downtown area. As we were crossing a street I walked past this good-looking, nice smiling guy and he looked back at me! Our eyes met and held for a moment. As we got to the other side of the street my cousin commented that she knew that guy. “He lives in our neighborhood” she said. She quickly motioned to him to come to us. He was with 3 other guys…as he arrived to our side of the street my cousin introduced my sister and I to him as her “cousins from the United States”. Long story short…we connected…there was a true attraction. The next day walking in the neighborhood we ran into him again. This time he walked with me as we began getting to know each other. He asked if he could come to where we were staying to take me and my sister on a tour of some Indians ruins that were close by. I agreed. The next day he arrived with a friend for my sister. As we spent the morning walking around this park we began sharing our life with each other and we realized that we were both Christians. He then asked me to marry him. I was speechless…for a moment and I said “yes” and it felt right. He assured me that God had already prepared him for this meeting and he knew in his gut that we were meant for each other.

After 3 days of knowing him we were engaged! Crazy right? Well yes it sounds crazy but God had already planned this for us. I left there 6 days later and came back home to Houston. We developed our relationship through letters and phone calls for 3 years. God got us through our long distance relationship. We saw each other every six months until the date of our wedding. God had a plan. We have been married now for 29 years. We still are “In Love” with each other and it has taken lots of work on both of our part to get to where we are now. We also are best of friends. Marriage is great but it is hard.

So you are probably wondering if that’s the way it happens always? No, but God has a plan for you.

For example…what often happens is that you meet a girl/guy in some enforced setting (like once a week at church or youth or maybe in a mission’s trip) and you feel an attraction. Then what you do is that you began pursing that person, making things happen to get her or him to be your boyfriend/girlfriend. That’s when things began to get a bit crazy…because then you began dating and realize that you don’t really know the person and so you start getting to know them during this process, when in fact you should have done that first in the beginning. This is often where the trouble and stress begins because by the time you find out that you are not suited to be a couple, chances are you have already progressed physically or emotionally to a point that makes it hard to admit your mistake and end the thing.

We had the fortune that we lived 2000 miles away from each other and thus we had to take our relationship slow without being physical by kissing and getting all emotional on a daily basis. We had no choice but to get to know each other through letters and phone calls. Thank God for that! I know it made it easier for us. Although the distance was hard on us.

It makes so much sense to get to know the person first, go out in groups of friends and enjoy the friendship. If you feel some kind of connection with the person and its clear that he/she is also interested then spend time with them by themselves and getting to see how they relate to you alone and with others. All this should be happening with out ever getting physical (obviously, I’m not talking sex because that should not be happening at all unless you are married). As soon as you began exclusively dating each other and kissing and getting emotionally involved then your romantic filters get in the way of you seeing each other realistically.

The problem is that far too many young and older people are so desperate for any relationship that they are willing to take a bad relationship over no relationship and satan loves that. I believe that you should not have to be romantically involved in three or four or five relationships to find the one God has for you. With each relationship you are involved in you give a part of yourself to that person, a part you might not ever get back….then if and when you meet the one God sent to you…you have already dealt with pain, heartache, baggage etc…and have little of your true self to give.

God never created a playground for “kissing friends” or “friends with perks”. Relationships are not there for a quick feel good time or to fit in socially… the ultimate and end point of every romantic relationship should be marriage and if you know that it is not heading towards that way, then you should end it.

When you are desperate and looking for a relationship, the chances of you being hurt again are intensified (because you are not thinking clearly but emotionally). This is when you better turn it over to God so he can change your needs. Your needs should never become desperate. Trust God with your heart; He is the only one that will not break it!
Prov.4:23 – Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
Phil. 4:7 – And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

God knows that if we don’t guard our hearts we can fall in love with the wrong person.

June 2009 by Ruth Galdamez