A Safe Distance?

I was watching the other day one of my favorite movies...."the divine secrets of the Yaya Sisterhood". Such a fun movie for us ladies to see. I crack up at this movie because I love the mother and all her friends. These ladies are so messed up its hilarious to some degree and then its a little sad...

It's interesting the tumultuous relationship that mother and daughter have in this film. Bottom line is that if your relationship with your mother was not good be sure that this will affect all of your relatiohships going forward...

If you see young girls that are always one day up and then the next day down and its an ongoing wave of emotions, I wonder what they've seen in their mother that causes this emotional rollercoaster...hmmmm something for us all to think about?

I look at these women and they all have shut out their husbands....and cling to each other as BFF (Best Friends Forever)....this is where I come in an would like to say... "If you are married.....your husband needs to be your best friend...." period!

Some girlfriend should not know all your intimate secrets....

Don't get me wrong...I think women should have lots of girlfriends if you like but we need to be very selective. We need to be careful of becoming too close with someone too quickly. We need to be careful what we share with one another too quickly. In these friendships we should always began with a safe distance. Our Pastor spoke a couple of weeks ago about this very thing. In every relationship outside of your marriage - there should be a safe distance.

There are people that in your first encounter they will share their whole life with you....be careful....

There are people that will seek you at all times and tell you how much they admire and pray for you....be careful....(I'm talking excessively)

There are people that speak for you when you are not around.......be careful...

There are people that become possesive of your time....be careful...

There are people that love you one day and ignore you the next....be careful...

If you are a married woman never have a close friendship with a man friend....be careful...

If you are a married man never have a close friendship with a woman friend....be careful...

I once had a women tell me that people always mistook her for me....she followed me around and told everyone she was a close friend....I did not even know her very well. She even had a picture of me that she carried and said people thought we were twins (she turned out to be a total freak!)....I'm saying all of this because sometimes we as women get too close too fast and it tends to blow up in our face.

I for one will not ever say that I have a "Best Friend" because I reserve that position for my husband.

I love my close friends and I have just a few of them and I can honestly say that I love them equally. I am open and will share the same thing with each one never reserving anything to just one. I don't prefer one to the other and I enjoy each one of their friendships individually.

Relationships between friends are like the seasons.... they are always changing, in a season you will be close to someone and then something changes, circumstances, or busyness, or someone moves away and the relationship changes. That is normal and should be ok....we all need to give each other the space that sometimes is needed.

When a relationship with a friend changes...accept it...it might just be for a short time and it serves its purpose. It could be that another friend is coming into your life for a period of time. This has happened to me and I embrace it and enjoy it. I worked with a dear friend many years ago and while we worked together for 2 years we became very close. After I left that position our friendship changed. I still hold her close to my heart and check in on her from time to time.

Let's have healthy relationships, have a safe distance in all relationships and leave the drama to the movies....

Next: "Steel Magnolias" another great film....

Ruth

God never forgets....

About 4 or 5 years ago we were asked to be the main speakers at a Couples Retreat. The main speakers of that conference had canceled at the last minute and this particular church in the Dallas area needed a replacement quick! We received a phone call through a series of events and were asked to step in. We traveled to Dallas and arrived at the camp site. (At that time we had been over the couples ministry in the church we were attending)So this was not totally out of the blue. At this retreat we had about 25 couples.

Wow! What a weekend! We shared our lives, our thoughts, our heart and our mistakes with these precious young couples. We ministered to them and counseled with them as a whole and individually. We had a great weekend conference and made special friends with these lovely people. During this weekend, we gave these couples a special assignment and they each had one hour to find a quiet place on the camp grounds and discuss certain issues with each other.....Harold and I walked to the lake. We sat there and prayed. During this prayer time...God impressed upon Harold that He would use us to help and guide couples in their marriages. Not because our marriage was and is so great....but because He knew that we had a few things we have learned along the way.

He placed a compassion in our hearts for couples! Its been a few years since that retreat and we have done some counseling and we have thought about that day and kept it on the back burner waiting for the Lord to guide us.

A few weeks ago, we had a guest speaker at our church, you may have seen him on TV.....Mark Chirrona. At the end of his preaching on Sunday night....he lay his hands on Harold and myself and prayed for us. He said that we are to keep our refrigerator full....that we would be feeding couples etc... This was our confirmation once again! I don't know all that God has in store for us it could be for now or it could be for the future. I do know that he has our today, tomorrow and our future. We trust Him with everything that we are and have.

We were so overwhelmed and in awe of the fact that God used this man to let us know that He still remembered and He reminded us of the things we heard in our heart at that Lake years ago. It is truly humbling to experience this.

We do have a strong and happy marriage. We have always been strong...there have been storms along the way but we never lost sight of our Commitment to God and our marriage. Thank God we did not give up on each other but that we held on to the promises of God. Harold and I have been married for 29 years. I love Him now more than ever....He is my better half no doubt.

Pray for us always dear friends.....